How I turned 99 cents worth of kale into half a gallon of delicious ice cream

“Learn this one weird trick”

“Grocery stores hate him”

Really though it’s pretty simple. Lucky’s had a sale on kale for 99 cents, so I bought one bunch. The clerk rang it up at $2.49, and when I asked, they said it was organic. I figured I had pulled it from the wrong bin, whatever.

Get home, cook the kale (it’s delicious; recipe below). Check the twist tie to check my mistake, and find out that the kale wasn’t actually organic, and that I was overcharged.

We’ve been through the “Lucky’s overcharges” before on our neighborhood email list, where it comes up from time to time., I didn’t have to quote chapter and verse of state law, just mention the Michigan scan law. The manager hand wrote a receipt and gave me $5.00 cash as well as refunding the purchase price of the kale on my card.

Fortunately I didn’t have to buy any more kale. Chocolate ice cream was $4.99 per half gallon, and it too was delicious.

  1. Save your receipts, at least until the meal is eaten.
  2. Check the twist-ties on your produce to make sure you got what you were charged for.
  3. Organic produce PLU numbers are 5 digits starting with a 9.
  4. Lucky’s was friendly when I pointed out their error, no hassle at all.

Sauteed kale

  • 1 bunch kale (organic preferred)
  • olive oil
  • 1 clove garlic

Heat the oil until it shimmers. Slice the garlic into slices and cook until fragrant but not yet browned.

Wash the kale and trim the stems . Chop the leaves finely. Add to hot pan and stir until the kale has wilted somewhat and has changed color.

Add about 14 cup of water to the pan, then cover quickly. Steam the kale until cooked to taste.